What Happened to Forever?

Chapters 13-14

~*~Chapter 13~*~

Choosing not to wallow in self-pity over whether or not Elizabeth is going out with Nikolas, Lucky decided to distract himself with music. He has been sitting in bed playing his guitar for the past hour or so, playing every song he knows except one: the one that he wrote when Faison first gave the instrument to him, the one about Elizabeth. Of all the songs he has written here, this is his favorite, the one that means the most, and also the one that hurts the most to play.

Against his better judgment, he starts the song, knowing it will just throw him into a deeper depression, but not caring, because it makes him feel closer to her. He doesn't sing out loud, but sings in his head instead.

(Just try to forget that Mariah Carey normally sings this, and it may be easier to picture Lucky singing! If you can hear the music in your mind, it helps, too.)

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight

By the time he's done, tears are streaming down his face. He stares up at the ceiling in anguish, trying desperately to find some small ray of hope to grab onto. If only he could be sure that she still loved him, that she hadn't forgotten him, then he could accept his fate. He wishes that he could see her again, talk to her, brush her hair away from her face the way he did so many times in the past. He knows if he tries to escape, that Faison will hurt her, so that is out of the question. He's also made it clear that his entire family has accepted his death, and no one has any reason to believe otherwise, so he's stuck here, no rescue in sight, no escape possible. Just day after day of watching footage of his true love and his brother, together. One thought keeps running through his head:

"What happened to forever, Elizabeth? What happened to forever?"

At this moment he actually feels his heart breaking. He screams out loud with all the rage, pain, and despair that has built up over the past year, and then collapses back onto the bed, exhausted.

--Kelly's, at the same time--

Liz's shift is over, and she's getting ready to leave Kelly's. As she takes off her apron and gathers up her purse, she gets a sudden pain in her chest and a chill runs down her spine. She leans against the counter until the sensation passes, and is left feeling a mixture of grief, anger, and fear. She has no idea where it came from or why, but she is suddenly very sure that she knows who it was from.

"Lucky" she whispers, her heart racing, as she clutches at the subway token hanging at her neck.

(Song credits: Lyrics: M. Carey / Music: M. Carey - W. Afanasieff. Sony/ATV Songs LLC and Rye Songs (BMI), Sony/ATV Tunes LLC and Wallyworld Music (ASCAP). All rights administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing)

~*~Chapter 14~*~

Luke is waiting at the docks for Sonny, pacing impatiently.

"Okay, what's the big emergency?" Sonny asks as he approaches Luke, noticing how agitated he is and wondering if he should have brought extra bodyguards.

Luke turns to face his partner and friend. (They have made amends since the fire, and although they aren't as close as before, they've managed to maintain a good friendship) "Well, to make a long story short, I have reason to believe that my son is alive."

Sonny looks shocked and is about to reply when Luke launches into the story about Faison. When he's finished, Sonny is speechless. He had always blamed himself somewhat, deep down, for Lucky's death. He never knew why, since it was ruled as accidental, but he couldn't help feeling somewhat responsible. Now Luke was telling him that not only was the boy probably alive, but the person behind the whole thing had nothing to do with him or Jason. He felt some relief at this, then scolded himself for having such a selfish thought.

"Wow. That's a lot to take in. Are you sure that all that means he's alive? I mean, the last thing I want to do is dash your hopes, but we have to be realistic here. The records all matched, his necklace was found on the body..."

Luke interrupts him. "You didn't let me get to my plan yet. Well, partial plan. Felicia is working on getting the medical records they used to ID the body..." Luke realizes this is the first time he's been able to mention "the body" without his voice catching or his eyes watering. It must be because he is so certain now that it wasn't Lucky's. "Sorry, I got lost there for a moment. Anyway, I have my own copy of his records at home. Don't know why I never thought of it before, but we're going to compare them to the medical examiner's copy and see if they match. My hunch says they won't. Once we know it wasn't him in the fire, we move onto Stage 2. That's when I need you."

Sonny is intrigued. "Anything I can do to help, you know I will. What do you need?"

"Could you put a guy on the club until Faison shows, then have him follow the creep? Hopefully we'll find out where he's been hiding, and if we're lucky...excuse the pun....he'll lead us to my boy. Also, just to be safe, put someone on Helena. She's never up to any good when it comes to my family, and this kind of thing just reeks of her."

Sonny agrees and pulls out his phone. He calls Benny and asks him to place the guards. After he hangs up, he looks back at Luke and smiles. "Done. Now what?"

Luke grins and slaps him on the back. "Thanks, my man. How about taking a walk with an old friend? I have one more place I'd like to go, and I could use the company."

***Port Charles Cemetery***

Elizabeth slowly approaches Lucky's grave. She comes here often when she wants to feel close to him or talk to him, and it's always helped, but for some reason everything feels different today. Maybe it has something to do with that weird feeling she got back at Kelly's. She had instinctively known that it had something to do with him, but couldn't figure out what. At first she thought he was reaching out to her from somewhere, but then she remembered her conversation with Laura that morning and reminded herself that the only place he could be contacting her from was Heaven. She then decided to come here in the hopes it would clear her mind and help her to understand. Now that she is here, all she can feel is sorrow.

She kneels down on the soft grass and lays a bouquet of roses against the tombstone. She always brings white roses, just like that ones he had given her for Valentine's Day. She sighs and traces the letters of his name, imagining that she's caressing his face. She can still see his beautiful blue eyes as vividly as if they were right in front of her. She could always see everything in his eyes, his love for her, hers for him, their future together. (She's in such a trance that she doesn't notice the two men that have come up behind her. Seeing the state she is in, they stay back, giving her space.) Her memories transport her back to their church, hearing Lucky pledge his undying love to her. A tear runs down her cheek as she begins to speak.

"You've got my heart. That's a permanent lock. Everything I am is in love with you. My soul, my mind, my body, my spirit. That will never change. I pledge myself to you Lucky, today and forever." Her voice catches on the last word, suddenly remembering where she is. The church vanishes, and she is back in the cemetery, kneeling on the damp grass, tears running down her face. "Forever" she whispers, once again running her hand over the tombstone.

In the shadows, one of the men moves to go towards her, but the other holds him back. She is still uanware of their presence.

She sighs as the grief washes over her. She feels so alone, so helpless. She looks up at the sky. It's clear, and there are millions of stars shining and twinkling. She remembers how doing such a simple thing as this had once filled her with fear, and realizes that it doesn't anymore After her rape, she couldn't look at the night sky without being sent back to that awful night. But Lucky had helped her through that, like he had with so many things. Because of him, she is able to sit at the foot of his grave and look at the stars without feeling any fear. 'How's that for ironic' she thinks, fighting a new wave of tears.

"I can finally look at the stars," she says to herself, then looks back up at the sky and shouts. "You hear that Lucky? I can look at the stars now. I'm not afraid anymore! All I want to do is share that with you, and you're not here. " She chokes back a sob before continuing. "You said you'd never leave, Lucky. You said you'd be with me forever. Well, what happened, huh? You're gone, and I'm still here, and I'm trying to get on with my life because I know that's what you'd want, but it's SO hard. I can't do it anymore, Lucky. I can't live without you." The last part just kind of squeaks out as she starts weeping and collapses to the ground.

Unable to stand back any longer, Luke runs up to her and collects her in his arms, trying to quiet her tears. His heart is breaking for the girl as she clings to him for dear life. 'If you're out there cowboy, help me find you. She needs you, man.' He pleads silently with the stars as Elizabeth continues to sob in his arms.