What Happened to Forever?

Chapters 32-34

~*~Chapter 33~*~

[author's note: I know Emily's birthday isn't in April, but I needed to change it. Sorry!]

Nikolas pushes away from her, breaking free of her kiss. She looks dazed for a moment, and then the realization of where she is sinks in.

"Oh my God!" Liz exclaims, retreating into the pew, completely embarrassed by what she had just done. "Nikolas, I'm so sorry. I thought..."

"..that I was Lucky, I know," he says understandingly. He had been shocked at first, but recovered quickly. "Don't worry, I heard you say his name, before you..."

She covers her face with her hands in disbelief. "I can't believe I did that. I hope you can forgive me."

He laughs. "There's nothing to forgive, Liz. You were dreaming, and you thought I was someone else. It's no big deal, okay? In fact, it's already forgotten," he says, standing up and offering his hand to her. She takes it and he pulls her up off of the pew. "Maybe this place is too much for you right now."

She nods. "I just wanted to feel close to him, and this was such a special place for us, you know? It was so quiet and peaceful when I came in, I guess I fell asleep. Oh, and I had the most wonderful dream. It was about our last Valentine's Day..." she trails off, sinking back into the memory.

Nikolas interrupts her thoughts. "Actually, that's why I came here. See, Emily's birthday is coming up, and I want to do something really special for her, but I just can't think of anything. This may sound strange, but whenever I think of romance, I remember the things Lucky used to do for you. He's probably the most romantic person I've ever known. So, I thought if I came here, something would come to me."

She smiles, tears forming in her eyes. "Yeah, he was one of a kind. Well, did you come up with anything?"

He shakes his head. "No, nothing. I sat here for a while, quietly, so I wouldn't wake you, but no ideas came."

She thinks for a moment. "Did Lucky ever tell you about that night, about what we did?"

He isn't sure what she means, and doesn't answer right away. She starts laughing at the expression on his face when she realizes how that must have sounded. "Oh, that's not what I meant! Trust me, everything was perfectly innocent!"

He relaxes and smiles. "No, he never really went into the details. He just told me what to set up, and that's about it."

"Well, then I'll tell you. Maybe it'll help." She motions to the pew. "Have a seat. If you thought he was romantic before, you ain't heard nothing yet!"

She goes on to describe the events of that evening. She's worried at first that talking about it will be too much for her, but surprisingly, she feels better the more she says. Sharing her memories seems to help her. She tells him how they stood at the altar and professed their love for each other, describing the vows word-for-word as though it had just happened yesterday, and not a year ago. She tells him how he gave her the most beautiful white roses, which she had learned later were from Laura, and how they had talked about how they couldn't imagine their futures without one another.

"And I remember telling him that he had just wrapped up Valentine's Day and given it to me as a present. He took what had been the worst night of my life, and made it the best. Now, instead of thinking of my rape on that day, I remember the love I felt in this church, and the promises we made to each other."

She describes everything with such detail, Nikolas feels as though he is right there with them. A tear runs down his face as the emotion of her story hits him. By the time she finishes, she's crying too, but the tears this time are of happiness.

Nikolas brushes his own tears away and clears his throat. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to tell me all of that. I can see it upset you."

She shakes her head. "No, it didn't. These are actually tears of joy." He looks confused. "They're tears of joy because I'm so happy that I was able to spend part of my life with him. Even if it was so short. I would never trade a moment of our time together, it was all so special. Not everyone gets a love like that, and I'm grateful to have been so lucky."

He smiles at her. "I think he was the lucky one." They both grow quiet, just sitting and soaking in the peacefulness of the small chapel. Finally, Nikolas stands up. "I think I may have an idea now. Thank you for sharing your memories with me."

She stands up as well. "Are you going to tell me this idea, or am I going to have to wait and drag it out of Emily afterwards?"

"I'll tell you, but not right now. I want to plan it out a little more first." He reaches out and gently touches her shoulder. "Are you ready to go?"

She takes one last look around the church and nods. "Yeah, I think I've had my fill of memories for one day. I should be getting to work soon anyway" They slowly exit the building and walk back towards town. Nikolas walks her to Kelly's, and then leaves to go meet Emily, wondering if he should tell her what happened at the church.

Once he's gone, she sits down at one of the tables outside and rests her hear in her hands. She's been trying not to cry ever since leaving the church, for Nikolas's sake. He's so happy right now, and she doesn't want him to feel guilty about her sadness. Now that she's alone, she can let the tears flow.

After crying for a few minutes, she looks down at her left hand, slowly twirling the ring around her finger. She never takes it off, not even when she showers. It's as meaningful to her as if it were a real wedding ring, and as long as she wears it, she feels connected to Lucky. She thinks back again to the vows they had exchanged.

I pledge myself to you, Elizabeth, today, forever

Forever...Forever...Forever

She slams her fist down on the table in anger, then collapses into tears again. "You promised, Lucky. You promised me forever, and then you broke it. You broke your promise......and you broke my heart." Her body is racked by sobs, and she doesn't hear that someone is approaching. She jumps when she feels a hand on her back, and looks up, wiping her eyes.

"Why don't you go upstairs and lay down for a while? I can cover for you until you're ready to start your shift." Tammy says, her kind eyes full of concern, absently rubbing Liz's back.

She smiles through her tears. "Thank you, Tammy. I think I will." They walk into the restaurant together and Liz heads up the stairs.

~*~Chapter 34~*~

Lucky is laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He's bored, and sick of the lack of new scenery. Spending a year in the same room day-in, day-out is starting to get to him. What he wouldn't do to just go outside for an hour, breathe some fresh air, feel the sun on his face......

He sighs. Making wishes like that are pointless. He's resigned himself to the fact that, unless someone back home finally realizes that he's still alive and rescues him, he's probably never getting out of here. His only other chance is that Faison gets bored with him and lets him go, but he knows that as long as Faison lives, the people he loves will be in danger. Even if he were to be freed, he could probably never go home. He wonders sometimes what would happen if Faison died while he was in here. Who would know he was here? Would he just die of starvation, or would someone come and let him out? If only he knew where he was, it would give him some perspective on the situation. He wished desperately that he could just escape, but as long as there was a chance that Elizabeth could be hurt as a result of his behavior, he wasn't going anywhere. If his staying put kept her alive and happy, then he would do it gladly.

The door slides open, and Faison stalks in, smirking. "It's good to see you up Lucas. I have a little film to show you. Oh, and I think you'll really like this one!"

'Uh-oh. This can't be good. He's never been this happy to show me something.' Lucky sits on the edge of the bed and braces himself for whatever he is about to see.

His pulse speeds up as the tape starts and he sees their church. The last time he was shown anything from there was when Faison showed him footage of his own funeral. This time, the building is empty, except for one form, sitting in the front pew. The camera zooms in, and shows the person to be Elizabeth, resting her head on the back of the seat and sleeping peacefully. Lucky smiles. She looks like an angel, as always. His heart nearly bursts, he misses her so much. Part of him just wants to break free right now and run to her, no matter what the consequences, but he knows better, and stays put.

The door to the small church opens slightly, then further, as none other than his brother, Nikolas, tiptoes inside. "Surprise, surprise" Lucky mutters under his breath. Faison hears this and smiles.

For a few minutes, nothing happens. Liz continues to sleep, while Nikolas sits a few aisles back, just staring into space. 'Why is he showing this to me?' Lucky muses. As soon as he thinks this, Liz starts to stir. It looks like she's having a nightmare. 'I thought she had stopped having those after Tom was put in jail.'

Nikolas has also noticed her distress, and goes over to crouch in front of her. He's whispering something to her, but since these tapes were strictly visual, Lucky could only imagine that he was saying her name, trying to wake her. As much as he hated that Nikolas and Elizabeth apparently had some sort of relationship, he is glad that he could be there for her. He kept himself going on the hope that Faison kept twisting reality by showing him what was really innocent encounters between the two of them, and making them seem like more. Deep down he really didn't believe that she would be interested in Nikolas. It was too weird.

On the screen, Liz's dream seems to be getting worse. Finally, Nikolas reaches out to shake her. She wakes up with a start, says something (the camera angle doesn't allow for him to try to read her lips), and suddenly throws her arms around Nikolas.......and kisses him!

Faison shuts off the T.V. and leaves without a word. His business here was done. Lucky just sits on the bed, staring at the blackened screen in disbelief. How do you misinterpret something like that? No matter how hard he tries, he can't get the image of his angel kissing his brother out of his head. How could Nikolas do that? Does he have no respect for Lucky's "memory"?

He tries to calm himself down and starts pacing around the small room. He keeps telling himself that Elizabeth was bound to move on. He was "dead," after all. And, really, Nikolas is a decent guy. He would never hurt her. Plus, the guy is rich, so she'll never want for anything....

'wait a minute, what am I saying? I'm acting like she's marrying the guy or something. She's just turning to him for comfort. Of course! He's my brother, so he's the closest thing to me, besides my parents, that she has right now. Maybe her feelings are all confused or something. Oh great. Now I sound like an egomaniac, like she'll never find anyone else as great as me. Of course she'll find someone else. I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon, and that the person she found wouldn't be RELATED to me!'

He throws himself down on the bed in frustration. His mood changes frequently lately, and he goes quickly from anger to depression. He lays there, looking at the ceiling, trying to cope with this newest development. His tears flow freely as he remembers the wonderful times they spent together. Their first kiss outside the boxcar, the night he asked her to be his girl officially, and they danced as he sang "My Girl," the beautiful guitar she gave him, the look on her face when he gave her the charm bracelet, which, he has noticed, she still wears...there were so many amazing things to remember. He feels fortunate to have had that time with her, even if it was so short. Some days, remembering the love they had shared is the only thing that gets him through. He sighs and picks up his guitar. Usually, the only way he can get through one of the moods is to play. He starts picking out a tune off the top of his head, and sings, letting the words come to him. It's something he's always been able to do, just make up a song as he goes along. They're not always great songs, but they help him heal when his heart feels like it's been shattered in a million pieces, as it does right now.

Well, I must be dreamin'
Cause you're smiling here before me
I can feel my tears come streamin'
As you fade away so slowly

Oh, how I long to touch you
But this isn't real, it can't be right
How I ache to hold you
As we dance away the night

God sent me an angel
With beauty unmatched, from the heavens above
Your eyes twinkle like stars when you smile
I'm so thankful to be the man that you loved

Now, I know that you can't hear me
Don't even know that I'm alive
I wish so much that you were near me
To kiss away my tears as I cry

Oh, how I long to feel you
In my arms just one more time
How I ache to kiss you
Taste your lips, as sweet as wine

God sent me an angel
With beauty that's matched by no other
We promised each other forever...
[he pauses for a moment, trying to think of the next line, then finishes bitterly]
So why are you kissing my brother!?

While music usually calms him, this time his rage is too great. He throws his guitar down, not hard enough to break it, but enough to make an awful noise. He throws himself back onto the bed, trying not to scream. He is so frustrated at the situation, so confused by his emotions. He cries for a while, then sinks into an exhausted sleep.

[The lyrics above were written by me. Please don't use them anywhere without permission (although I don't know know why you would! :-)]