Chapter 101
Alexis sat at back in her chair and absently tapped her fingers on the desk. There was a lull between her cases, and she was bored. She was thinking about Jax, something she found herself doing quite often lately, when she wasn’t thinking about Sonny.
“What’s wrong with me?” she sighed, tiredly rubbing her eyes. Things were finally going well with Jax, just like she had wanted for so long. They were seeing each other, something they both found incredibly humorous, considering they had already been married for a year and divorced before they even went out on their first date. She was happy with him, probably even falling in love, but every once in a while, her mind would return to that day in her office, with Sonny. Just looking at her couch would sometimes make her blush at the memory.
There was a soft knock on the door, snapping her from her reverie. She cleared her throat, reaching up to comb her fingers through her hair.
“Come in!” she called out, her voice cracking slightly in anticipation, wondering who it would be. Jax or Sonny? She felt almost giddy, and scolded herself for being so ridiculous as the door slowly opened. Her face fell as the visitor entered the room, unable to hide her disappointment for a moment.
“I’m sorry, is this a bad time?” Liz asked, sensing that she had been expecting someone else. “I know I didn’t call first, I can come back later...”
“No, Liz, come in, it’s fine. I just thought you were someone else for a minute.”
She smiled slightly, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Jax?”
Alexis blushed and looked away. “What makes you think that?”
“Just a wild guess,” Liz said, shrugging. “Was I wrong?”
“Not totally,” she admitted, smiling a little. “Anyway, what brings you here? How was the trip?”
Signing, Liz looked down at her lap. “It was fine, I guess.”
“I saw the awards at Luke’s. You looked really nice. And totally believable as Lucky’s wife. Although, I’m sure having Brad Pitt on the other side of you made the night easier to get through,” she teased.
Liz chuckled lightly and looked up at her. “Yeah, that was definitely a nice bonus. That’s kind of why I came by today.”
Alexis raised an eyebrow curiously. “To talk about Brad Pitt?”
Laughing, Liz shook her head. “No, about Lucky. I figured if anyone could understand this, it would be you.”
“I can’t guarantee anything, but go ahead and give it a shot. I’ll see what I can do.”
She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. “Something happened this past week, I don’t really know what it was, but everything has changed.”
“Changed?” she asked, leaning forward.
“I think... I think my feelings for Lucky are changing, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Trying to hide a smile, Alexis nodded. “I hate to say I told you so, but....”
“I know, you warned us, but I didn’t think anything could happen so quickly. I mean, the plan was to get a divorce as soon as we could, before we had too much time to get confused. Then this tour came up, and we figured it would be a perfect excuse for the divorce, we could say I hated him being on the road so much, plus we wouldn’t have to pretend that whole time, since we’d be apart.” She sighed heavily, glancing down at her hands as she slowly twirled her wedding ring around her finger.
“But then I got sucked into going with him for this week, and everything just started to feel too real.”
“How so?” Alexis asked, understanding all too well what Liz was going through.
“Well, little things, I guess, like kissing him and sleeping with him...not like that,” she quickly added, seeing Alexis’s eyes grow wide. “I just mean, in the same bed. It started to get too comfortable, you know? And sometimes he would say things to me, like that he loved me or was going to miss me, and I’d find myself wondering for a second if they were true, and sort of hoping they were. Also, when I would say the same things to him, to keep up the act of being his wife, I would start to wonder if I really meant them, because it seemed like they came too easily for me, like I was starting to believe it. By the end of the week, it was getting really hard to figure out where the act ended and my real feelings began.”
Alexis listened to her pour her heart out and smiled sympathetically. She knew this torture much too well, and knew that things were only going to get harder for her. Still, there was something nagging at her, like there was more to the story that Liz wasn’t telling. “Liz, is there something else?”
She looked up in surprise. “Why...what makes you ask that?”
“Maybe it’s just an instinct, from being a lawyer. I’m used to reading my clients and knowing if they’re telling me the whole truth. Something tells me you’re not. I don’t want to pry, but it’ll be easier for me to figure out what to tell you if I know what else is bothering you,” she said gently.
Liz sighed, nodding. “Yeah, there is something else. That last night, after the awards, I realized I was late I told Lucky, and he completely shocked me by saying that if I was really pregnant, that he would be there for the baby, that he wanted to be its father, even stay married to me to raise it.”
“Wow,” Alexis breathed, shocked by the news. “How did you feel about that?” She smiled slightly, amused at how much she sounded like a psychiatrist just then.
“That’s the most confusing part. I was happy.” Liz looked up at her pleadingly. “Why? All this time, I’ve hated Lucky, and I’ve been dying for this divorce to go through so I could finally be rid of him. So why would I be happy at the prospect of staying married to him and having his child? It doesn’t make any sense?”
“It may not make sense to you yet, but it’s pretty obvious to me what’s going on,” Alexis said quietly. “It sounds like you’re falling in love with him. For real this time.”
Liz gaped at her, surprised not only by her statement, but by how right it sounded. Deep down, she knew all along that was the reason behind her conflicting emotions, she just hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself.
“Liz? Are you okay?” Alexis asked, seeing Liz’s face pale.
She nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess I just didn’t expect that. Anyway, it doesn’t matter, because Lucky doesn’t feel that way.”
“Are you sure? You said yourself that he wanted to stay married to you.”
“I didn’t say he wanted to, only that he would for the baby. If there was one, which there isn’t.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said....”
“That I was late,” Liz interrupted, wringing her hands anxiously. “Which I was, but I’m not any more. When I woke up this morning....anyway, it was a false alarm, probably because of stress or something. I should be relieved, but I’m not. So, how am I supposed to sound happy when I tell Lucky it was nothing?”
“You haven’t told him yet?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t have his number, so I have to wait until he calls me, if he calls me.... He’s so busy on that tour, it might be a while before he thinks to call.”
Alexis smiled sadly, pained by the girl’s obvious distress. “I’m sure he’ll call soon, and I know you’ll find a way to tell him. You never know, he might have been hoping for the baby too. Maybe this was meant to happen, to show you how much you actually care about each other. Don’t fight it, trust me, that doesn’t work. And just admit what you feel, not only to him, but to yourself. If you really do love him, say so, or else you may miss your chance and you could lose him forever. That almost happened to me, and even though I’ve been given a second chance with Jax, things are really confusing now. Don’t let that happen to you.”
Liz sniffed and stood up, thankful to Alexis for being so honest with her, but also incredibly confused. “Thanks, Alexis, but I’m pretty sure I know what’s going to happen now. Since there’s no baby, we’re going to go through with the divorce. Lucky told me all you needed to know was what my part of the settlement was?”
Surprised by Liz’s sudden shift in attitude, she merely nodded.
“Nothing. I don’t want anything,” she said flatly. “I was never really Lucky’s wife, so it wouldn’t be fair to take anything from him.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “By law you’re still entitled...”
“I’m sure. Just draw up the papers when you can, and we’ll sign them. Then everything can go back to normal.” Liz turned and left the room, not bothering to look back.
Alexis sighed as the door closed and reached for their file. She knew they would be making a huge mistake if they went through with the divorce, but she had to draw up the papers anyway. It was her job. She just hoped something would change their minds soon, because the rest of the paperwork wouldn’t take very long, by the time Lucky was back from his tour, they’d be ready for them to sign.
~*~
Charisma sighed and dropped her notepad on the table loudly. “Spence, did you hear anything I just said?”
Lucky looked up in a daze. “Huh? Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
She groaned and stood up, rubbing her face in frustration. “I just spent the past fifteen minutes going over this week’s itinerary with you, and you didn’t hear a word of it, did you?”
He looked up at her guiltily and shook his head. “No, I must have spaced out. I guess I’ve just got a lot on my mind lately.”
Charisma sat down again and looked across the table at him. “Spence, I know being away from Liz is hard, but you have to focus. Last night’s show was, well, is was still good, but not as good as it should have been. I could tell you were just going through the motions, that you weren’t really into it. If you keep that up, people are going to start to notice.”
”So what?” he said, frowning at her. “So they notice that I miss my wife, what’s so wrong with that?” He had no idea where that was coming from. Even though it’s what he would have said anyway, he hadn’t thought about it first, it was almost like a reflex. Did he really miss Liz, or was this charade just starting to become too real?
“There’s nothing wrong with it, but if you start getting bad reviews, it could really screw things up. Just try to concentrate a little more, okay? That’s all I’m asking.” She sighed, seeing that she wasn’t getting through to him. “Why don’t you call her? Maybe that will help.”
“I’m fine, Charisma, really. I just had a bad show, that’s all,” he asserted, not sure if he should call Liz so soon. He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea, after all.
“Okay, I can understand that, we all have bad days. Still, don’t you think you should call her? It’s been over a day since she left. She’s probably waiting to hear from you.” She smiled, knowing it would work. If he was going to keep up the act of being her devoted husband, he would know that the only logical thing to do would be to call.
Lucky nodded and got up. “Yeah, you’re right. I think I’ll go do that right now.” He turned and retreated to his room, closing the door behind him before walking over to the phone. He hesitated before dialing, trying to figure out what he was going to say.
The phone rang twice before she answered. “Hello?”
“Elizabeth, it’s Lucky,” he said, smiling as he heard her voice. “Charisma suggested I call you, so I figured it would look bad if I said no.”
Liz laughed lightly. “I guess it would. How’s everything going there?” She didn’t want to say anything about the baby yet, at least, not right away.
“Okay, I guess. The guys miss you. I think they liked losing their money to you.”
“Well, I miss winning their money too,” she chuckled. “It must be good to have your bed back.”
“Um, yeah,” he said softly, looking down at it, remembering how he had spent the entire night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. He had told himself it was because he had taken a nap in the afternoon, but deep down he knew it was because Elizabeth wasn’t there next to him anymore. “How about you? I’m sure you’re glad to be back in yours.”
Liz paused, wishing that were true. Instead, she had come home from work and stared at the ceiling all night, unable to get comfortable no matter what she did. She told herself it was some weird kind of jet lag, or that it was from being used to the motion of the tour bus, but that was a lie. In reality, she knew her insomnia was because she was alone, because Lucky wasn’t there, breathing softly next to her. “Of course. It’s great to have the place to myself again.”
Lucky sighed, pacing slowly around the room. “So, is there any news about the, um...”
“Baby?’ she asked, finishing his question. She figured she might as well get it over with. “Actually, there is. It turns out it was a false alarm. I’m not pregnant.”
“That’s good, right?” he asked, trying to sound happy, not disappointed, even though that’s what he really felt. As much as he had tried to deny it, he had been hoping for this baby.
“Well, yeah, I mean, it’s great. We can go back to the original plan and get the divorce,” she responded, trying to hide her disappointment at his reaction. She had been right all along, he didn’t feel anything for her. He didn’t really want to stay married to her after all.
Lucky sat down heavily on the edge of his bed. “Right, the plan. I guess so.”
“I went to see Alexis today and told her I didn’t want anything in the settlement, so she’s starting to draw up the paperwork right away. I guess this is almost over finally.”
“Yeah, finally,” he said softly. “We just have to make it through the next three weeks. It shouldn’t be too bad.”
“Maybe not for you, but I still have to act like I miss you,” she sighed. “Everyone here expects me to be all depressed and miserable right now.”
“So do I,” he argued. “I’ve got Charisma breathing down my neck every time I turn around, asking me if I miss you. I don’t know if I can take three weeks of that.”
“I know what you mean. Hopefully, the time will go by quickly. We already made it through the hard stuff, this should be a breeze, right?” She frowned, wishing she could convince herself of that.
Lucky ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’ll be a breeze.” They were both silent for a moment, neither sure what else to say. “Well, I guess I should get going. I have a show tonight.”
“Okay,” she said quietly, not wanting him to go yet, but unable to say so. “I guess I’ll see you in three weeks.”
“I’ll probably call again, to keep up appearances, you know. Charisma watches me too closely, she’ll know if I’m not calling.”
Liz smiled. “Oh, okay. Well, I guess I’ll talk to you later, then. Bye, Lucky.” She hung up quickly before she said anything more. Obviously, Lucky didn’t share her newfound feelings, he still wanted the divorce, and he had been relieved that she wasn’t pregnant. She told herself that it was better that way, that he only confused things. Her life had been just fine without him before, and it would be fine again.
“Bye, Elizabeth,” he said, waiting until he heard the click of her phone disconnecting before he hung up. He fell back onto the bed and closed his eyes. Whatever he was feeling for her, she obviously didn’t feel the same way. He figured he might as well get used to it and try to forget about her. He was better off that way, anyway.
